The 7 People Your Circle is Missing
There are seasons in life where who you surround yourself with is just as important as what you’re doing on your own. As much as inner strength is important, the truth is that sometimes you just can’t do it on your own. Here’s what I mean:
A few months ago I hit a roadblock in my prayer life. It seemed as though, no matter what I did, the books I read, the routines I tried to switch up, I just kept hitting a wall. In response I dug deeper into scripture, tried a few more google searches -- still nothing. I was desperate and in a slump. How was I going to come out of this to realign spiritually?
Then a friend prayed over me. He used the words I didn’t have to break down the walls that perhaps I’d build around myself to separate myself from God. He made up for my lack and as he prayed I could feel the frustration lifting u off of me. It was just what I needed to try again. Had I not had him, I don’t know where this story would’ve ended. And since that moment I’ve been acutely aware of the ways in which the people around me serve to make me better and lift me up.
There is power in your circle. Realizing this to be true, I am so thankful for the people that God pruned off of me, whether those cuts stung or not. You can’t let just anybody in. There are some who will never see you in your fullness, and because of that they won’t ever be able to support you in full capacity. It’s a truth that’s initially hard to accept, but as you develop into the person you’ve been designed to be, as you develop into your authenticity, there won’t be room for the people that don’t fit. It’s a reality that shifts from being scary to reassuring. Don’t be afraid when people walk away, they didn’t belong there. Keep your circle square-free.
Don’t be afraid when people walk away, they didn’t belong there.
Seriously though, as important as it is to keep the wrong people out of your inner circle, it’s just as important to have the right people in it. A great team is built from people with a variety of strengths (and weaknesses) that ultimately pan out to equilibrium. Here’s a list of the 7 people I’ve found are necessary to my team:
The Savior...as in...Jesus.
There’s no life living without God. Period. It goes beyond just knowing He died for you sins. Your relationship with God can be intimate and personal; it’s what He wants with all of us.
The thing that brought me back to Christ and catapulted me onto this journey was a desire for that kind of intimate fellowship. I was tired of second-guessing decisions and rolling the dice on my life. If you’re trying to manifest the purpose on your life, if you’re trying to design a life worth living, a relationship with God is where it all starts. Stop forfeiting your peace by keeping God on the outskirts of your inner circle.
Stop forfeiting your peace by keeping God on the outskirts of your inner circle.
This is the person who doesn’t have “can’t” in their vocabulary. They believe that anything you can think of is possible. Sure there will be obstacles, but they are never insurmountable.
You need a dreamer in your life to brainstorm with, thought partner with and to remind you to believe when the doubts start creeping in. If you woke up right now and decided to be an astronaut, the dreamer in your life would co-sign and build off of that idea. They would help you come up with ways to develop a clothing line and book series for your new career endeavor.
Your dreamer helps you take the restrictions off of yourself. Sometimes you won’t be able to shake off the doubt by yourself.
This person will help bring you back to center...even if you have to go a little far off at first.
The Accountability Partner
No one likes a yes man.
Realistically, none of the people you surround yourself with should only be telling you what you like to hear. However, you do need a person who will give it to you straight. Raw and unfiltered. Not everyone has that gift.
This person is not a hater, they definitely have your best interest in mind. You can see the advice they give manifested in their own lives. This person is rational and down to earth.
Who in your circle is willing to challenge you to be honest when you can’t do that for yourself? Who holds you to a higher standard no matter what? Everyone needs an accountability partner.
The Nurturer is the person you can be vulnerable with. There are moments when we need to be handled with kid gloves and this is the person to do it. They will wipe your tears, nurse your wounds and sit with you in silence as your process.
We all need at least one person who we are not afraid to go there with, to show the entirety of ourselves to, even those pieces we think are ugly. Sometimes it helps to climb outside of our self-sufficiency and rely on someone else.
Find a person who you can let your walls down with, if only just a moment. It will help refuel and recharge you in the moments you need it the most.
Choose this person wisely and reap the benefits.
The Prayer Warrior
Like the friend I mentioned at the beginning of this, having someone to pray for you when you can’t even pray for yourself is invaluable.
Maybe it’s not prayer you need, but just a consistent flow of positive energy. This is them. They speak to your soul. They speak to the you that already exists, but hasn’t manifested yet.
You need a person who you can connect with on a God-level, because so much of your life depends on it.
A pinch of optimist, with a splash of grounded, the Anchor is the person there to remind you always that this too shall pass. Never one to gloss over your feelings, they meet you where you are in order to pull you out of it. When feelings threaten to take control of whatever situation you’re in, the anchor helps you to stay grounded so that you can chip away at whatever is plaguing you.
Whether you’re too high or too low, your anchor is there to bring you back to reality, to equilibrium.
This person makes you better just by being their awesome selves.
You see them working hard for their dreams and can’t help but want to do the same for yourself. The Motivator lets you know that it’s okay to be unapologetic in the pursuit of your own happiness; you’re not alone in wanting to do so.
They make you better just by being their awesome selves. You see them working hard for their dreams and can’t help but want to do the same for yourself. This person lets you know that it’s okay to be unapologetic when going after your happiness & that you’re not alone in wanting to do so. You need a motivator to hold you to a higher standard when you feel like you’ve already hit the mark.
& Vice Versa
This is about lifting as you climb. Life really is about what you can do for others? Who are your gifts currently serving? Do you have a mentee? A friend on a similar career path?
Share your wisdom as you gain it. I’ve recently read that we should be striving to learn from the mistakes of others. So, with that in mind, how are your mistakes teaching others? Ultimately that’s what our struggles are for. They teach us this, yes, but our testimonies become the tools we use to teach others.
Maybe one person fulfills multiple of these roles, maybe you have one of each, either way with this support system on hand, you can’t help but flourish.