Blinders

Writers to Follow in 2019

In this season of life, I’ve taken to binge-watching shows I wouldn’t normally consider. It’s turned me into somewhat of a murder-mystery, serial killer, sports history aficionado. This weekend, I finally powered through the last of my Madam Secretary episodes on Netflix and, meaning-searcher that I am, I was left with a question that challenged my intentions in life thus far:

Would you still be willing to do your life’s work, to chip away at your purpose day after day, if no one was ever going to understand it and your legacy would stay silent, but the work was still necessary?

Honestly, I’m still grappling through where I stand.

At the end of this Forbidden Luxe rainbow, where I’m allowing myself to create from my spirit and show more than just glimpses of my soul, I’m hoping that other people’s lives are touched. I’m hoping that my story resonates with yours and we mesh to create this community of truth-searching, dinner party-slaying, purpose-fulfilling women who’ve left an imprint on the worlds around us.

I’ve been following my inner voice, allowing it to steer me towards topics to write on and products to create. I am as sure of the impact of the things I’ve been creating, whether it be a planted seed or the finished product, as I am of my need to create them. This is a mutually beneficial endeavor.

Read: It Is Written

But what if I never see what that impact looks like? Will the joy I get from putting it out into the Universe alone be enough?

Algorithms, profitability and ROI all point to no. Sometimes I allow myself to sit in that no because logically, what’s the point of investing in something that gives nothing in return; it’s not the best or smartest use of resources. Honestly speaking, I’d like to think that somewhere at the intersection of this authenticity and the consistency I’m still working on, is a stream of income that allows me to do more of this and less of all the other stuff. It’s a balance that means less research on best practices and more soul searching. It’s a balance that means I still have to think about the research and best practices while I soul search.

Read: Buttoned Up

Ultimately, maybe there’s nothing wrong with that. Maybe the sweet spot I’m looking for, the intersection of a-ha, comes from working like no one else will ever see it, while packaging everything in a way that makes people want to. It means creating for yourself, but knowing that other people might be blessed by it too. That’s the space I hope to navigate in a way that becomes second nature, without stopping to look at street signs for directions. I just want to get in the car and drive.

Through this fog, this back and forth between watering myself down and paying my bills, I realized I’ve discovered my hill to die on. Yes, I want to create products, and sell my words, but being a slave to that feels the same as being a slave to a job you aren’t really invested in. It means that money will ultimately be the sieve through which everything else is passed. So I stand on this hill to say that whatever I do next, to monetize and strategize, will always instead be passed through the sieve of authenticity.

Read: The Year of More

I want to create with blinders on and think about where it’ll fit later on. I guess then, the answer is yes?

#pagesfrommyjournal