On the list of things I’m fed up with (re: not doing anymore) is this notion that being chosen is a magic bullet that grants me some type of power. I’m done with my own logic that if I am good enough, they will choose me and thus being chosen is a mark of my worth.
I am tired of sitting on a shelf waiting, to be seen and heard, before I can move in the freedom of the dopeness I possess. And I’m not quite sure how I got to this place or why the clarity is only just now pouring in, but freeing myself from the shackles of outside validation has changed the way I navigate my world. So, I’m not doing it anymore.
Waiting for something outside of me to validate my enoughness has been a hamster wheel that’s worn me out. Outside factors are so fickle, and largely about other people’s baggage, that depending for them for my wholeness has been the easiest way to stay broken.
Read: Control is Letting Go
This is all very recent, maybe a week or two in, but I’ve realized that there’s more power, more security, more dopeness, in validating my own damn self. I choose me so you don’t have to.
I think it started in small ways like alone time over group activities. Maybe the seed was planted when an aunt told me that releasing people of my expectations would give me the power to appreciate them for who they are and set boundaries accordingly. Perhaps this is the fruit of crossing items off of my bucket list regardless of whether or not I had someone to do them with.
I think it’s because I’ve taken an intentional step towards loving myself better by treating myself with the kindness, selflessness and effort I so often pour into everyone else.
Now I’m considering what the reintegration of being chosen by others will look like once I’m done basking in my own wholeness. It’s a whole new level of power because getting something that you want but don’t need, gives you options. It’s why I’m on the quest for financial freedom this year, too. No more desperation. The borrower is a slave to the lender and I’m taking my life back at all costs, on all fronts.
Read: Real Estate
Regardless of what comes next for my evolution, my truth today is this:
When we learn the value in choosing ourselves, being chosen by someone else matters less. It is only then that we are actually able to curate the love we so deserve. It is only then that we are able to see the purity and magic in love and choosing and relationships.
Today, I choose me so you don’t have to.