A Practical Guide to Self-Love
The thing I hate most about all these self-improvement concepts is that they often sound nice and flowery, but the how is elusive. Most recently that manifested in the form of, “Yeah, I want to love myself. Sure, I could use a confidence boost.”
So I started on my own quest for that one answer — how. From that soil bloomed The Self Love Series, a conglomeration of content comprised of my musings, tangibles, how-tos and final thoughts on the subject.
Know what else I learned? Sometimes one thing is made up of lots of tiny other things and that’s why it’s so hard to put a name, or a how on it. It’s like when people talk about accomplishing goals by breaking them down into tiny steps. Because sure, I’d like to be healthier, but that looks like eating more nutrient dense foods, which looks like meal prepping more often, which looks like grocery shopping, which looks like creating a list, and so on and so forth.
Read: Baby Steps
Step one, acknowledge that self-love is like any other goal. Check.
Knowing this to be true only brought me marginally closer to the answer to my how. As I sat and pondered and read and prayed on the subject another lightbulb moment produced itself. If love is a verb, then proving love must be about your actions vs. your feelings.
So what would love of self look like in my own life? I came up with these seven components:
1. Self-Discovery: Before I can do anything, I have to understand who I am. What are we even working with here?
2. Self-Acceptance: This is who I am and that’s great, genuinely.
3. Self-Improvement: I know who I am, and I’m okay with that person, but what can I do to be an even better version of her?
4. Self-Discipline: Can’t get better if I’m not committed and consistent.
5. Self-Care: What do I need to do to be the happiest, healthiest version of myself across all fronts?
6. Self-Affirmation: How can I become my number 1 fan?
7. and then Self-Love.
At the end I realized that for me, fundamentally, love of self of knowledge of self went hand-in-hand. I needed to know myself more intimately and then learn to cultivate and accept the things I found. I needed to push for change in areas where growth was necessary and embrace the areas that were never going to change.
Read: Control Is Letting Go
My practical guide to self-love involves the habit of evolution. It’s about constantly working through those six components so that the seventh — self-love has the environment it needs to exist. I realized that self-love won’t always feel loving. Sometimes it will feel like hard work. Other times it will feel like grace.
But ultimately its purpose should be to nudge me closer to wholeness. And that is the filter through which all this work is judged.
Cause love’s always on its way.
P.S. I packaged up those 7 steps and made them into an email series. More how’s for you! Sign up below.
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