What My First Solo Move Taught Me About Life

After two years of dreaming, ya girl is finally moving into her first place alone. The first year of living with my roommate, April, started out of necessity. Who can afford a place in Chicago with no steady job and no idea when it would come? Year two happened out of comfort. If it ain’t broke don’t fix it. Now? It’s time to spread our wings. We both are moving out of The Halfway House (as we’ve grown to affectionately call our current spot) and into homes of our own. If anything could make me feel like a full blown adult thus far, it would be this. Much like many other milestones, this move is bittersweet. And when I get into my feelings, I can’t help but start reflecting on all of the things that brought me here. 

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So, here’s what moving into my first solo move has taught me about life:

Know When to Hold Em, Know When to Fold Em

I was thinking of this commercial when I realized I’d be making this point:

And the lyrics to the song are also quite fitting:

You've got to know when to hold 'em. Know when to fold 'em. Know when to walk away and know when to run. You never count your money when you're sittin' at the table. There'll be time enough for countin' when the dealin's done. Every gambler knows that the secret to survivin' is knowin' what to throw away and knowin' what to keep. 'Cause every hand's a winner and every hand's a loser...

Geico distractions aside, it really was time for April and I to expand to the next level. There was nothing wrong except that it became too comfortable. There’s a (huge) part of me that is excited for this next chapter, but there’s another that is afraid. I’ve never lived on my own before. The sheer dynamics of it along with the newfound financial responsibility is enough to give anyone jitters. That fear is how I know I’m stepping outside of my comfort zone. That fear is how I know it’s time.

Moving out on my own taught me that you have to know when to close one chapter to move on to the next, even when there’s nothing wrong with where you’re at. Never get so comfortable that you neglect to do the work it takes to keep stretching and growing.


You have to know when to close a chapter to move on to the next, even when there's nothing wrong with where you are.

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If You Can Afford to Pay Someone To Do it You Should

Hiring movers was a no brainer. The money saved lugging mattresses and dressers up and down stairs is not worth your peace of mind. Trust me when I tell you this. And really that’s a metaphor for life. Sometimes it’s better to allow the experts to do what they do while you shine in your own lane. Better to be a master of one than a jack of all trades. Don’t succumb to pressure to be good at everything when it’s clear you have a gift for something specific. I’m always joking about all the Forbidden Luxe tasks I’m going to outsource as soon as I can afford to. Laughing, but serious. If you can afford to pay someone else to do it, you should. 


Don't succumb to pressure to be good at everything when it's clear you have a gift for something specific. 

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Aside from the stress it causes, sometimes focusing on too many things at once can dilute everything you touch. Instead stay in your lane and outsource the things that would make your life easier.

Be Careful What You Dwell On

The stresses of moving have definitely taken a toll on me. There are so many moving pieces, so many adjustments to be made at the new spot to make it home, so much exhaustion. I’ve been to every HomeGoods store in Chicago, both IKEA's in Illinois searching for this and that to make my house a home. I’ve painted an entire 1 bedroom apartment on my own (high ceilings and all). If I allowed myself I could keep rattling off all of the things that make this move stressful and quite frankly, annoying. However, this is what I’ve been praying for and working towards. Two years ago I told myself that I would be in my own spot if I worked hard enough, and here I am.

READ: Why A Clutter Free Home Makes for Self Care

You have to be careful about the things you dwell on. Oftentimes the things we want most don’t come packaged as prettily as they are in our imaginations. Dreams come with a little dirt on them. Dust it off and savor the moments you’ve worked for as they come to pass.


Oftentimes the things we want most don't come packaged as prettily as they are in our imaginations.  

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I am so excited to be on this new journey of stepping into my independence and my twenties. There’s lots more lessons and decorating to do so stay tuned for the ride!

ReflectionsAsh Nelson